It can be challenging to remain objective when confronted with a tough choice. This can be a challenge, as our emotions can sometimes lead us astray when it comes to making important decisions in various aspects of life, such as relationships, finances, and health.
Typically, many individuals struggle with putting aside their emotions when faced with making a decision. Nevertheless, with the implementation of a handful of straightforward self-distancing techniques, you can greatly diminish the influence of these emotions, allowing you to make more informed decisions.
In the following article, you will discover more about the concept of self-distancing, grasp its benefits, and explore ways to incorporate self-distancing techniques in situations where they are needed.
What does self-distancing mean?
Self-distancing involves taking a step back from your own perspective to better understand the events and emotions you encounter. When considering this concept, individuals typically approach situations from two different perspectives:
- Self-distanced perspective. An objective viewpoint is an external perspective that can be employed when reflecting on a past event, where the individual analyzing the event is seen as separate from the individual who experienced it. Take a moment to consider a self-distanced perspective, which involves reflecting on your actions and questioning the reasoning behind them.
- Self-immersed perspective. An introspective viewpoint is an internal perspective that can be applied when reflecting on a personal experience, where the individual analyzing the event is seen as the same person who lived through it. For instance, a self-reflective viewpoint is the one you adopt when you question your own actions and think, “Why did I just do that?”
Instances of practicing self-distancing
“I didn’t want to make an emotional decision. I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James and what would make him happy.”
Basketball player LeBron James describes his decision to leave his old team.
An interesting illustration of how individuals can utilize self-distancing is found in a study that analyzed the self-talk mechanisms of individuals. This mechanism involves intrapersonal communication that individuals engage in during their inner monologue.
The researchers began by exploring ways to encourage self-distance during periods of introspection. They found that using the second-person pronoun (“you”) or referring to oneself by name (e.g., “John”) instead of using the first-person pronoun (“I”) can be effective.
This concept is rooted in conceptual-level theory, which proposes that establishing psychological distance in one area can influence psychological distance in other areas. By altering individuals’ linguistic self-distance to increase their psychological distance from a specific event, it can impact their emotional closeness to that event.
Given this, the researchers requested that the participants in their experiment remember two personal experiences, one involving anger and the other involving anxiety. There were two distinct sets of participants:
- Participants in the initial group were given instructions to consider themselves from a personal perspective. This implies that individuals in this group would reflect on their emotions and question the reasons behind them.
- Participants in the second group were instructed to consider their own identity from a different perspective, either by using second-person pronouns or by referring to themselves by their own name. For instance, individuals in this group would reflect on the reasons behind their emotions or the emotions of others, such as Jane.
The researchers then assessed how much participants distanced themselves when recalling their past experiences. What they discovered was that by altering their perspective, participants were able to create more emotional distance when reflecting on these events, as shown in the figure below.
Basically, individuals found that by referring to themselves in the second-person or using their own name, they were able to enhance their capacity to distance themselves emotionally from the situation. This improvement is crucial, as enhancing emotional self-distance has been proven to yield numerous significant advantages, as we will explore in the following section.
The advantages of practicing self-distancing
Studies have indicated that incorporating self-distancing techniques can yield numerous advantages.
First, as demonstrated in the example above, practicing self-distancing can assist individuals in managing challenging experiences from their past. This aligns with other research on the subject, indicating that adopting a self-distancing approach can shorten the duration of negative emotions and assist in mitigating aggressive thoughts and feelings of anger. In addition, practicing self-distancing techniques can be beneficial for individuals who struggle with social anxiety, as it can assist them in navigating challenging social situations. In addition, developing a greater sense of self-awareness can enhance individuals’ ability to manage their emotions effectively. This, in turn, can have positive effects on various aspects of their well-being, including a decrease in symptoms associated with depression.
One reason for this is that self-distancing promotes adaptive self-reflection, enabling individuals to effectively manage challenging emotions. This is in contrast to adopting a self-immersed perspective, which can often result in unhelpful self-reflection, such as constantly dwelling on past events.
Another benefit of practicing self-distancing is connected to individuals’ rational thinking, which involves acknowledging the boundaries of one’s knowledge and understanding the significance of being open to compromise.
In particular, individuals often exhibit a greater capacity for wise reasoning when offering guidance to others, as opposed to when making decisions for themselves. However, by employing self-distancing techniques and considering the advice they would give to a friend in a similar situation, individuals can bridge the gap in their understanding and apply their reasoning skills to their own dilemmas, just as they would for others. According to a book on the subject:
“The advice we give others, then, has two big advantages: It naturally prioritizes the most important factors in the decision, and it downplays short-term emotions. That’s why, in helping us to break a decision logjam, the single most effective question may be: What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”
From “Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work“
Ultimately, enhancing self-distance can have a positive impact on individuals’ decision-making skills. Research has demonstrated that self-distancing can help mitigate decisional biases and enhance decision-making, especially in situations where there is an overwhelming amount of information. This is explicable by the fact that people with an egocentric and self-centered mindset frequently rely on emotional reasoning, whereas people with an unbiased and self-centered mindset frequently rely on rational reasoning.
Overall, research indicates that the strategic application of self-distancing techniques can yield a multitude of advantages. These benefits encompass a range of improvements, such as better emotional resilience, enhanced stress management, and increased rational decision-making abilities.
How to establish personal space
There are different methods available to enhance your psychological self-distance.
First, as mentioned earlier, one can utilize self-distancing language by referring to oneself in the second or third person in their internal monologue. For instance, this implies that when confronted with a challenging choice, rather than questioning, “Why am I concerned about this?” you should inquire, “Why are you concerned about this?”.
Another way to enhance your perspective is by attempting to see the situation from a different point of view, one that is distinct from your own. For instance, if you find yourself in a conflict with someone, it can be helpful to take a step back and consider the situation from different viewpoints. This includes not only your own perspective but also that of the other person involved or even that of an unbiased observer.
Moreover, in certain instances, when making decisions, it can be helpful to imagine the viewpoint of a role model, someone you look up to, and consider what actions they would take in that particular situation.
Furthermore, it may be helpful to consider what guidance you would offer to another individual, particularly a close acquaintance, if they found themselves in a similar predicament.
Lastly, you can also establish a sense of detachment using alternative techniques, like expressive writing. This practice entails documenting your thoughts and emotions as you reflect on a past event.
Overall, there are numerous strategies available to enhance your self-distance, which can assist you in making more logical choices. There are two highly effective techniques for this that can be utilized: incorporating self-distancing language in your inner monologue or adopting the perspective of others when analyzing events that you have personally encountered.
Summary and Conclusions
- Self-distancing requires a shift in perspective, allowing you to view events from a more objective standpoint rather than being solely focused on yourself.
- Practicing self-distancing can provide a valuable perspective that enables you to navigate challenging emotional situations more effectively. This approach can be particularly helpful when dealing with negative emotions like stress and anger.
- Practicing self-distancing can also enhance your ability to make logical choices and employ effective reasoning when determining your course of action.
- You can achieve self-distance by changing the language you use when reflecting. Instead of using the first-person pronoun (e.g., “what should I do?”), consider referring to yourself in the second or third person (e.g., “what should you do?” or “what should John do?”).
- Another way to create self-distance is by looking at events from a different perspective, like that of someone you were conversing with or an external observer who witnessed an interaction you were part of.
